What If?

I know. I know. You aren’t supposed to ask yourself the “what if” questions. They can create too much margin for fear or discouragement or blah, blah, blah.

 Whatev’s.

I need routine and the pressure of a deadline to persist and produce. This week I don’t have any of that. We are coming off the start of summer break from school. Our first two weeks of summer “break” were rushed to finish remodeling projects, deep clean the majority of our home and plan for a family gathering. We worked our tails off, on top of two weeks of daily trips to swim lessons. At the end of those two weeks, I felt accomplished and like I was a real human. “High fives, Kati! You are rockin’ this domestic goddess thang!”

This week is a different story. Far too much time to be introspective and doze off during my morning quiet times. I feel super disconnected from Abba, and generally sub par on absolutely everything I am involved in. Just keepin’ it real.

So this morning I willed myself off the couch to start yet another load of stinky summer laundry. While pairing the ENDLESS pile of socks, I began to ask the “what if’s?”.

What if there wasn’t anyone washing these nasty stanky clothes?

What if no one tried to offer 1-2 nutritionally sound meals/day to this family?

What if the man of the house didn’t have food in his lunch box, clean clothes to wear or someone to make the phone calls and run the errands he can’t get too, while working his two jobs?

What if no one asked him heart questions, when he would prefer to just work and silence the deep stuff?

What if no one hugged them? Cried with them? LAUGHED with them?

What if no one saw their deep parts and prayed for God’s presence and truth to fill them, even while they slept?

What if no one taught them the value of honesty and kindness?

What if they never learned to grow and prepare foods?

What if they never learned routine cleaning skills, let alone how to tackle deep cleaning projects?

What if no one helped them gather the supplies and push through a craft/decor idea that they imagined?

What if no one was seeing the ache in their hearts for friendships and creating opportunities for them to connect with others?

What if…?

What if…?

What if…?

The syrupy-sweet spiritual answer is that Jesus fills all the holes and redeems all the yuck and makes good out of all the bad. Truth!

But, what if? What if, today, He is choosing to fill the holes, redeem the yuck and make good out of bad….thru a mere human?

What if today, He is doing this through me?

Today we have plans. Plans to picnic with friends, rain or shine. Plans to play.

I am not good at playing. I need to PRODUCE something to be valuable. Ugh – the lies!!!

But upon asking the “what if’s”, I have but one plan for this day…

To be present and thankful.

That’s it!

I hope you have some playtime in your future. I hope you can ask the “what if’s” and see the value in your role, whatever it is.

What if today, YOU can choose presence and thankfulness and know that your value is not in what you DO, but in WHOSE you are.

We are in this together, friends!