We’ve all heard the saying, ‘It’s the little things’ I’m sure! In the craziness of life ‘the little things’ can easily be missed or they can become a beautiful reminder of a promise, a memory, or even a simple reminder that God is right there in the dark valley with you, having never left your side.

This summer I stepped outside my patio door and in the busyness of duties, I walked right past this cute little kiddie pick-up, holding sweet corn from the garden. As I walked past it, I looked more closely and I heard that still small voice speak to me to stop and reflect! I paused and drank it in, because moments earlier there were happy shouts and chatter as my 3 and 5 year- old delivered sweet corn to invisible friends. My heart about burst out of my chest as I drank it in and the lump in my throat got bigger. Gratitude bubbled up from the inside and I couldn’t help myself in the moment.

You see, there was a time when our home was quiet, too quiet, and I longed, no, yearned to hear the sweet tiny voices and pitter patter of my own babies. I wrestled with God and with my own heart for I dearly would love to welcome a little one into our hearts. Many, many tears were shed and lots of questions asked as the wrestling continued for 3-5 years. The agony of getting my hopes up every month to only have them crushed to pieces took its tole, yet we kept praying and believing. There were times when close friends would hold up our arms with sweet reminders of God’s promise, little notes, or just a big hug. These things meant so much to my tired, longing heart.

As year 5 or 6 dawned, I don’t remember which one, the wrestling turned more to surrender. Surrender to God for the children my arms ached for, surrender of my life possibly not looking like anything I had ever dreamed of. And in that surrender, sweet peace flooded my being, knowing that whenever it was time for these little ones to be born they would be, OR perhaps we would open our hearts to adoption. Were tears shed still? Yes, of course, but now there was hope and trust.

During that time God gave me a scripture that I clung to and held on to. There were several, actually. I printed it out and hung it on my kitchen cupboards so I could see it daily. Here are just a few, starting with the one I chose to hang up and confess daily:

“Your wife will be a fruitful vine within your house; your sons like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord.”
Psalms 128:3,4

“He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord!”
Psalms 113:9

I clung to these scriptures during the rough days when it really didn’t look like we would ever hear the chatter and sweet pitter patter of little feet in our home.

Habakkuk 2:2 (ESV) says,
“Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.”

Did we see this dream and longing come to pass right away? No, we did not, but we wrote the vision and held on and today this little photo reminds me of the sweet ones we get to hold and nurture!

Dear heart, if you find yourself in this very place of longing, crying tears of grief, disappointment, and sadness, know that you are not alone! I am sending you virtual hugs with a whispered, “I’m sorry.” Hold on to the promise that God has given you and in that place of holding on, may you find peace in surrender!