A little less than 10 years ago, we had an exciting thing happen to our family, and to say that we were thrilled is an understatement. Interesting though, were the responses of people around us.

● Some were genuinely thrilled for us. Their excitement was expressed with THE biggest smiles and was something we could almost tangibly feel! They gave us permission to rejoice!!! And as a result, I could feel my body exhale and relax with their permission to let us feel our joy. What an incredible gift!

● Others, were mildly happy for us. I would best describe it as a kind smile and a half-hearted “yay you” accompanied by an invisible shrug of their shoulders. Indifferent, really.

● But where we were taken aback, were the responses where you could feel jealousy ooze out of them. The smile that didn’t meet the eye. These responses left us feeling like a bit of our joy was stolen, somehow.

During that season I was mulling over these three responses we were getting. I realized when someone was genuinely happy for us, they were giving us a gift! They were placing the proverbial cherry on top of our ice cream sundae! I saw this verse with fresh eyes.  Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”

The human race as a whole is generally good at empathy, and “weeping with those who weep”. When there are heart breaking situations that bring sorrow, our hearts reach out toward those affected! Which is so necessary. In hard times, we need others to be in the moment with us. Our family has been on the receiving end of love and kindness from people when our hearts were breaking.

As I was pondering this verse I realized nobody talks about the power of “rejoicing with those who rejoice”. Generally, this seems to come a bit harder for us. In my reflection, I saw that my jealous heart often found it hard to be happy for others. I remembered the times I allowed jealousy to rule. I either ignored/glazed over their happiness or did the half-hearted “yay you” and then rushed to talk about something else. I thought about the times I was mad inside about others reason for joy. “Why not me, God?”, I’d whine.

But now, experiencing the cherry being placed on top of our sundae through the happy smiles and words, I saw what a gift people were giving to us by genuinely sharing our excitement! I purposed that with God’s help, I was going to change. I wanted to be that person being genuinely excited for someone and place a cherry on top of their sundae! A gift giver.

It didn’t come easy at first. In fact, it was harder than I expected! I felt fake. I was feeling jealous but making myself express happiness to people. I hoped I came across as genuine, because in my heart I really did want to “rejoice with” them! But there were two conflicting emotions happening inside of me. My default for so long had been to roll around in jealousy. So at first, the words didn’t easily slip off my tongue. BUT I SAID THEM ANYWAY. God knew my desire and He helped me get the words past the jealousy stuck in my throat.

As I chose “rejoicing with” instead of being jealous, I discovered people had the same response we had when others were happy for us! When I expressed my delight for their circumstances, I could see their eyes light up! Their excited words didn’t come to a stop like before, they kept spilling out. I was also shocked to see the effect of what “rejoicing with” had on me. As I chose to be delighted with them in their happiness, I actually BECAME happy and thrilled for them. It brought life to ME! The jealous feelings literally couldn’t survive when I purposed to be genuinely happy for them. “Rejoicing with” flat out kills jealousy. It was fun to discover that when you are genuinely happy for someone, their joy multiplies and bubbles up inside of YOU! What a blast! Joy overflowing and smiles all around! Eventually, knowing I was going to feel this joy, my choice to “rejoice with” happened more quickly and easily. I loved experiencing joy flooding my heart like a waterfall!

The more I experienced the effects of genuine “rejoicing with” others, the easier it became. Now, almost 10 years later, thanks to God, jealousy is no longer my first response. Does it still pop up occasionally? Of course, I’m human. But what I can tell you, is that it sure isn’t my default response anymore. What used to be an ugly monster, is now an occasional little gnat that is easily squashed. I’ve learned if I genuinely choose to “rejoice with” others, any jealous feelings that try to pop up, leave in seconds. Because – Jealousy. Can. Not. Survive. With. Joy. The flood waters of JOY are powerful!

“One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.”-Archibald Rutledge

God sure knows what He’s talking about. Rejoice with others, place that cherry on top of their ice cream sundae! It’ll rock your world. And theirs.