Part One
Part Two
Part Three

When my son was in boot camp for the National Guard, I laid in bed one night praying for him. I wasn’t even thinking about our relationship, but just asking God to send His angels to minister to Joe’s body while he slept, to soothe his aching muscles, etc. In the very middle of my prayer, these thoughts dropped into my spirit… what IF the VERY things I have beat myself up about for years, the things I have hated about myself as a mother are the VERY things Joe needed most to prepare him for this season of his life!? I mean, think about it… the kid was dealing with drill sergeants constantly screaming in his face (I wasn’t THAT bad, lol, but talk about OVERBEARING and STRICT), he’s expected to be organized and tidy (some of our biggest fights were over this due to my standard of PERFECTIONISM), and he had absolutely zero control over anything because the Army dictated everything he did (CONTROLLING). Could what I considered my very weaknesses actually have been my greatest strengths!?! Could my biggest mistakes have been made for his benefit? My mouth LIT.ER.AL.LY hung open and tears streamed down my face!

Let me stop for just a second and add a little balance to this. Does this mean that it doesn’t matter what we do as mothers? Does it excuse our bad behavior? Absolutely NOT! That would be an abuse of God’s grace. As mothers, we are to seek God’s Heart for our kids and trust Him to lead us in parenting and shepherding them. What I said before does not give us an excuse to live any way we want to and not try to be the best mothers that we can be. It should however take off the pressures, the stress, the expectations, the burdens that we are not meant to bear and carry.

Precious mamas, you are not meant to be your child’s all in all, their Savior! You are called to partner with the Father and point them TO their Savior… Jesus! You are not called to have all the answers, but to point them to the One that does! I read this quote on a blog several years ago and it has stuck with me: “Your job is not to lasso your kids’ hearts for God, and THEN hand Him the rope.” Shannan Martin

Like every other mother in history and in today’s world, I have beat myself up time after time after time again about my qualifications as a mother and how horrible of a mother I was/am. I know I am not alone in that. But for some reason, that did not translate into learning to offer myself grace.

Us mothers are SO hard on ourselves! We can easily offer grace to our husbands, our children, our friends, but we are just awful at giving grace to ourselves. Why is that? I think it’s because, as mothers, we feel that we have to be the glue that holds all things together. If WE fall apart, it will all fall apart. Can I let you in on a little secret? That is a lie from the enemy and SO SO not true. Even worse, God had shown me that believing that lie is actually a SIN! Why? Because it’s actually pride wrapped up in a pretty little package with a bow! By believing this, we are placing our role as a mother far above God’s role and rule in their lives. Remember what I shared earlier? He is God and I am not.

Maybe you have a hard time offering grace to yourself because you feel you’re not worthy or don’t deserve it. That, too, my friend, is pride. Pride is not just thinking too highly of ourselves, it’s also thinking too lowly or too often of ourselves.

I want you to think back over your childhood. How far back can you remember? Can you remember how your mother parented you at 3 years old? Four? Five? I would say probably not too much, if at all. And yet, how often did we (or do we) unnecessarily beat ourselves up during those preschool/early school years?

Mamas, we are diminishing the power of the cross by not walking in grace and forgiveness. God is inviting you, actually giving you permission to be REAL, not perfect, REAL. There is SUCH a difference! What kind of person attracts you? One who has it all together, or one who is transparent and authentic? I dare say that our kids feel the same way. They are more impressed and swayed by our mistakes and asking their forgiveness than that we kept a clean house or did everything right.

Part Five